I make a habit of meeting pastors and church leaders from local churches because I love pastors and have so much to learn from them. And I’ve been a student of churches and leaders for over 20 years. I’ve learned a lot from so many people.
But one disturbing practice I’ve noticed from us preacher-types is that even when we affirm the essentials of our faith, we tend to passionately champion the non-essentials called preferences.
Sometimes we even seem bored with Jesus, the salvation of souls, and the advancement of the Kingdom. But start talking methods, schedules, styles, systems, and structures and watch the veins pop.
And while I used to notice this red-faced stroking-out among the older generation of leaders, it’s clearly a multi-generational issue at this point. The young and the old are equally infected with this passion for preferences.
It’s true that every shepherd-leader has a unique personality and bent. And leaders lead from a God-given internal compass and set of values. And God uses our hard-wiring to serve the local church. We lead from who we are, and that’s the way it should be.
But there is a subtle shift that can happen in the heart of a leader that creates a real and present danger for the church. We overlook it because of sincerity, likeability, or success. But the danger of placing personal preferences ahead of loving people is so real that it might explain much of our declining impact in the culture.
The heroic, first-century, type-a church leader Paul wrote this:
For I could wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh—Romans 9:3.
Paul was serious about the church and the advancement of the Kingdom, but his passion was not demonstrated in demanding his own way but in his willingness to be eternally separated from Christ for the sake of others. That is a rare disposition in church leadership today. I personally struggle to apply that kind of selflessness.
While we caution our followers from allowing their personal preferences to distract them from the mission or divide them from others, we often turn our preferences into policies and even a test of faithfulness, authenticity, or relevance.
Preferences are an important ingredient in the formation of the mission. But maybe our preferences cost us more than we think.
What then do we lose when our preferences become policies:
We lose unity.
When we champion preferences, we teach our people to love each other conditionally and to divide over secondary issues.
We lose diversity.
We like diversity until it happens to our church. As cool as it is, multi-generational, multi-gifted, multi-thinking ministry makes us nervous. So instead, we become monolithic, predictable, and exclusive.
We lose credibility.
The only “team players” are the people who share our preferences, talk like us, dress like us, and think like us. Everyone else is suspect. They either have to get on board or go somewhere else.
We lose influence.
While we think people are following, many are only complying. People have various opinions and preferences they never express. So when leaders make preferences into policies, the dissenters go underground, play happy, and wait it out.
We lose the Gospel.
When preferences are king, church work is not about theology, Jesus, disciple-making, the Gospel, or the mission of God. Although we use those words, ultimately, church work is about our mission, our personality, or our agenda.
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