Authentic, transparent, relational…all of these are fresh words for forward-thinking leaders. And rightly so. All of us, regardless of our level of influence are more effective when we are authentic, transparent, and relational.
But no matter how authentic, transparent, and relational we may be, sometimes it feels in our gut that no one seems to get us. Sometimes the very ones who are closest (i.e. spouse, children, close work associates) are the ones that look at us funny and walk away trying not to shake their heads in bewilderment.
So what do we do when no one seems to get us?
Get used to it.
We are all a bit, can I say, strange…or at least unique in our personality, gifting, and approach. And that can take some getting used to. But it seems the greatest leaders of the faith, and even Jesus Himself, faced a fair share of misunderstanding. Personal expectations, anticipated opposition, misguided convictions, immaturity, and lack of trust all contribute to being misunderstood. Sometimes these hurdles can be overcome. Sometimes they can’t.
Stay patient.
None of us are Jesus, but He was incredibly patient and gracious with the people closest to Him. His key disciples blew it…more than once. Their faith failed in moments of crisis. And they abandoned Him when He needed them the most. But He never rejected them…never gave up on them. He even washed the feet of one who had betrayed Him. So don’t stop believing in the people God has put around you.
Clarify. Constantly.
Many of us fall into the dangerous trap of thinking that because it’s clear to us, it’s clear to everyone else. So learn how to communicate to be understood. Develop phrases that are catchy, repeatable, and that clearly communicate values and priorities. Then repeat those values and priorities over and over. But don’t just talk about them. Do them. The greatest explanations are demonstrations.
Be clear.
Before we can be clear with others, we need to be clear in our own heads. Sometimes things are foggy. But leaders do the hard work of discovery that involves prayer, conversations, and study. And once it’s clear in your head, move forward. After some hard work, Moses knew what God had called him to do, and he did it. Jesus knew why the Father sent Him, and He finished the work. Clear thinking gives focus, confidence, and courage to do what God has called us to do.
Loosen up.
Our work is important. The Kingdom is big and the stakes are high. But our personal popularity is not that big of a deal. And not everyone will like us or get what we are about. If that’s not okay with you, you will be paralyzed by fear of man rather than empowered by the fear of God. So take the work seriously, but yourself…not so much.
I’d love to hear what you think. What do you do when no one seems to get you?