After leading the United States through the Great Depression and much of World War II, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt died on April 12, 1945. The nation mourned. NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt died in a crash in the last turn of the last lap of the Daytona 500 on February 18, 2001. Shocked racecar fans everywhere mourned. The king of pop, Michael Jackson, died at his home on June 25, 2009. Fans grieved in front of makeshift memorials around the world.
When these gifted men died, many of the people they had influenced grieved as if they had lost their father or their best friend. But most who grieved had never met these men, never had a conversation, and never spent a personal moment with them.
Why is it we are often attached to people we have never met yet become easily frustrated with the people closest to us? Perhaps it is because love comes easier from a distance. From a distance, we see only what is in clear view. From a distance, we are entertained. And from a distance, the ugliest flaws are filtered.
But when the gap closes and the filters are gone and people get closer, love gets messy. The flaws and failures are not only seen, but they are felt. John knew a lot about the painful realities of authentic love, so he wrote, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” 1 John 4:7. When love gets messy, we can return to these three truths:
We love because we are loved.
“Beloved.” That’s an incredible word! Before we improved, before we learned, and before we earned, God loved us. We did nothing to deserve His love, but in His grace He loved us. If a perfect God loves us like that, surely we can persevere to love messy, messed up people.
We love because we must love.
Love is not extracurricular or optional. It is essential. John said, “Let us love one another.” That is an unconditional command. Feelings are good, but faithfulness is better. So despite the gaps we see in others, we love them because we choose to obey God.
We love because we can love.
We are not born with the ability to love other people like we should. And it is not something we churn up in ourselves. Instead, love is a gift from God. So even when people are impossible, loving them is not because God always gives us what He requires from us.
We admire people from a distance. We appreciate talent from a distance. But true love gets close and gets messy. So roll your sleeves up. Remember the mess you were when God first loved you. Choose to obey God by choosing to love others. And then trust Him to give you exactly what you need to love the messy, messed up people closest to you.
How do you love people in the mess? Please click the comment button below to share your story.