On December 16, 1966, a handsome Air Force Airman from Lexie Crossroads and a beautiful, young Moore County girl invited family and friends to Marble Hill United Methodist Church to witness the two of them share vows of holy matrimony. It was a simple wedding in a country church with one middle aisle and hardwood floors and hardwood pews throughout. After the ceremony, the wedding party and guests moved back to the Sunday School room turned reception hall for cake and punch.
It was a lovely start for my parents on that December afternoon fifty years ago. That is right. Parker and Linda Crouch celebrate F-I-F-T-Y years of marriage today! Someone once said, “All beginnings are lovely,” but it is not just the beginning that creates a marriage that spans a half century and beyond.
So what does 50 years of marriage mean? I am not quite halfway to that mark myself, but as I have watched my parents for over forty of their fifty years of marital bliss and hiss, perhaps these observations are worth sharing.
Fifty years of marriage means longevity.
Longevity is not the vocabulary of the wedding ceremony, but it is the implication when we say, “Until death do us part.” We are saying that as long as life is in our body, we are in this marriage together. There are many things in life that are out of our control, but staying put is not one of them.
My parents have been married for 18,250 days. Assuming 20% of those days were difficult, which we all know is a generous assumption, they chose to stay put on 3,650 tough days. That is 3,650 days filled with doubt and discouragement. That is 3,650 good reasons to try something else. That is 3,650 days when they could have found trusted people to encourage them to quit. That is ten years worth of bad days when they chose longevity over leaving.
Fifty years of marriage means love.
Love is a complicated thing. In the first moments of marriage, love is something we enjoy. It is how our spouse makes us feel, but soon we discover love is less about what we get and more about what we give. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for a friend” (John 15:13).
Love is a good feeling, and I have watched my parents laugh and love, but more significant than that, I have watched them lay down their lives for one another. For fifty years, they have put each other first. My dad has lived with my mom in an understanding way, and my mom has respected my dad. And together they have served one another.
Love is romantic and exciting and fun, but only when it is also sacrificial and selfless.
Fifty years of marriage means labor.
Weddings are for young folks, but marriage is for working people. Most of us begin marriage when we are young, and that is as it should be; but in our youth, we have little clue as to the work marriage will require. When two sinners make a covenant to God in front of witnesses, the battle is on. It is a spiritual war, which quickly asks things of us that we are unprepared to face. The shrapnel of our sin embeds in the heart of our spouse, and only the sanctifying work of God can dislodge it and bring healing.
My mom married a strapping, young sinner. And my dad married a charming, pretty little sinner too. They brought their sin right into the marriage, but rather than run from the fight, they willingly accepted God’s invitation to cooperate with Him. And for 50 years they have worked with Him as He has worked in them to love like Jesus loves and to look more like Jesus looks.
Fifty years of marriage means legacy.
In Ephesians 5, we learn that God created marriage as a declaration of His love for the world demonstrated in Christ Jesus. So in the beginning, when God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, He intended them to populate the earth. Procreation, however, was not the ultimate goal. That the entire world would glory in God’s love is the ultimate goal. So the purpose of marriage is to show the world how much God loves us and how worthy He is of our affection and allegiance.
I am not sure how big my inheritance will be, but I am certain that in addition to having two sons, my mom and dad have spent the last 50 years building a legacy that is more powerful than any Gospel tract could ever be. In their love and loyalty to one another, they have shown the rest of us how God loves us and how we can know Him forever.
Fifty years is a long time, but fifty years of marriage mean more than the years. Those years mean the glory of God, the beauty of Jesus, and real hope for the next generation.